Abeni & The City ✨
Celebrating life’s pauses, joy, and everything in between
Happy Sunday,
I’ve been thinking about pauses, and how pauses impact everything. We will never know which chapter will be our favorite, but we must continue to live through each of them fully. They are all my favorites, even the ones that felt like a detour.
I wrote about how I overlooked my move to Dallas because it came at an unexpected time. I had always wanted to bring my roots back here, but I wanted it to happen on my timeline. I overlooked that chapter because, yes, I wanted to be bi-coastal, but I loved living in Los Angeles so much. Those years were at the top of my favorite chapters, the woman I became under those sweet palm trees.
I think about the chapter that taught me not to compromise my happiness. Losing my father first led me to grief therapy, and losing my sister later guided me to focus on allowing joy to return in waves. We often think of joy as something that disappears when we lose someone or something, but I believe joy always has a way of returning.
Last weekend, I went to a wrap party for the show I worked on ,The Dutton Ranch, a Yellowstone spinoff premiering soon on Paramount+. I worked on this show before my current work on Paramount+’s Lioness. On Sunday, I worked on a short film I am producing, the first this year.
It came after what felt like two years of a pause in my life. Two years of faith, growth, and learning to love myself fully. Two years of being mindful about who I let in and grateful for those who were patient with me. And in all ways, that pause was everything.
My love for being a woman is endless because I’m so grateful I was chosen, not only to be a woman but a Black woman. I enjoy the rituals we have. Getting ready is such a process: choosing a dress, deciding on our hair, shoes or jewelry, even curating our music to make us feel good. We set the tone before we even enter the room by deciding how we want to show up.
There is nothing like finding a dress that you love and cannot wait to wear. One of the dresses I love most is a Hanifa dress my sister bought for me. I wore it when I saw Hamilton for the first time. I wanted something that felt special for that night, and it did.
I still have that dress, and I always will. Dresses hold memories the same way photographs do.
Lately, I’ve been thinking about Anifa Mvuemba, the founder of Hanifa, and her announcement that she was pausing her business. It made me reflect on just how powerful pauses can be.
Maybe we need more of them. There will always be detours and distractions, but there are also moments of stillness and solitude. I’m proud of myself for pausing, pausing before I speak, pausing before I invest, pausing before I worry, and pausing long enough to be present.
The stillness and solitude in my life has taught me a lot. It taught me how to trust God. Taught me how to depend on the right people. It taught me how to love myself and to believe that joy stays with us.
Even when people change, the pictures never do. Life sometimes feels like one big beautiful photo album. The memories stay with us. And sometimes the dresses stay too.
✨ Six Affirmations for the Week — Until We Meet Again
I radiate love, beauty, faith, and peace.
My love is a gift, and love finds me in all forms.
I am surrounded by love in seen and unseen ways.
I deserve a love that feels safe, mutual, and free.
I am attracting love, happiness, and beautiful connections.
My love story is unfolding in a safe and beautiful way.
What I’m Reading 📚
Loved One by Aisha Muharrar — Link
Sweet Heat by Bolu Babalola — Link
Strangers: A Memoir of Marriage by Belle Burden — Link
Podcasts I’m Listening To 🎧