My Old Ass
A Year of New Beginnings & Bold Love
This holiday has been a true retreat, deepening my love for the quiet arc of winter. I’ve spent my days sleeping in, getting lost in movies, starting new books, and simply resting without the nagging fear of missing out. If you’ve been looking for me, you’d find me either in bed or stretched out on the couch. Over the break, I revisited one of my favorite films, My Old Ass, which I first saw at a 2024 screening with Women In Film Dallas. From start to finish, it’s a hilarious and heartfelt story. The movie follows Elliott as she nears her 18th birthday and encounters her 39-year-old self. At one point, she tells her friends, “I’m just excited that my life is, like, finally about to start.” That line hit me hard—I feel the same way about the fresh possibilities of 2025. The world feels wide open, and I’m so grateful for this blank page to write a new beginning.
In the movie, Elliott asks her older self, “What’s the point of this conversation if you can’t give me some, like, solid advice, and then I can just make our life better?” Her older self replies, “Can you avoid anyone named Chad?” True to movie form, Elliott soon meets Chad. Watching it, I couldn’t help but wonder—wouldn’t we all love the chance to talk to our future selves? Or have God answer our juiciest questions, loud and clear? But God isn’t in a hurry. While we rush to figure everything out, He moves steadily and prioritizes lasting outcomes over quick resolutions.
By the end of the movie, I was in tears. My mom looked over and said, “I want you to meet your Chad.” Her words stuck with me. I’m patiently waiting to meet my Chad—and who knows? Maybe he’s reading this newsletter right now.
A month from today, I’ll turn 32. So far, my 30s have taught me the value of peace money can’t buy, the power of caring less about satisfying everyone else, and the importance of capturing life’s fleeting moments through pictures and videos. Reflecting on how much has changed—since the day I started this newsletter and even since closing the chapter in 2024—I’m reminded that growing older and healthier is a luxury. I’ve experienced moments so beautiful they took my breath away, and moments of deep loss that reshaped me. Around the holidays and as my birthday approaches, I feel the absence of my father and sister more acutely. I miss our long conversations about the future. And yet, even if my Older Abeni could have told me about the losses I’d face, I would still choose to meet them—with hope and the promise of new beginnings. Every moment has shaped this life adventure, and I’d live it all over again, no matter what.
I’m so grateful to have time to write again. I hope 2025 brings us all we deserve: softness, sweetness, and security. I’m determined to fall more deeply in love—with my current self. Sometimes, I think that’s truly the purpose of life: to be the seed and then to be the flower, spreading love and warmth in all seasons. This year, I will embrace myself so fully that the outcome doesn’t matter. I will live even more boldly, love recklessly, and be brave.
As promised, here are more exclusive memories from our Soft Weekend last June. I remember the first time I saw these pictures, marveling at how far this dream had come. Looking back, I’m excited about how far it can go. Happy New Year!
Shot on film at the Sunday Forever A Soft Sunday Forever First-Seated Brunch, High Tide, Los Angeles, June 2023.
Shot by Jazmin Bryant at the Sunday Forever A Soft Sunday Forever First-Seated Brunch, High Tide, Los Angeles, June 2023. Brunch catered by one of LA's finest chefs, Chef E Dubble.